John,
I was born and raised a JW from a long line of JW's. Brainwashed since birth. But I am a man of reason and logic. I always had doubts about some fundamental doctrines- the biggest of which is the year of Jerusalem's destruction as taught by the Governing Body- 607 BCE, as wrong. Anyways did my own research and it opened Pandora's box of all the other lies the GB has been using to keep us in darkness.
And then I met a Bethel friend with similar doubts. We got to talking and he opened up about his long 7+ year apostasy that he has managed to hide all these years while working in the inside. He is still there and his story inspired me to take on a more active roll in helping others while still being an "active" JW. Oh, the suspense of being a MS, taking the group out in service, giving talks and all that jazz while being an apostate is beyond thrilling. I might sound crazy, but I get a rush from it.